Thursday, August 26, 2010

Do you take yourself too seriously? Or not serious enough?

I believe there are very few things that we need to take serious, but in the big scheme of things-for me, taking the Word of God to heart and applying it to my everyday life is SERIOUS! That sums up a lot of things right there! Showing LOVE like I've been shown from my GOD is huge! There are people who will accept your love and those who won't-I have learned to not waste my energy on those who won't....You can try for only so long & that could lead to insanity-The greatest love you can give-I feel, is the LOVE you give yourself! LOVE is so beautiful-it makes you want to sing, smile, relax, face fears, warms your heart, is patient w/ weaknesses, forgives, understands, respects, cares for-
It has taken me a while to get to this place-but it feels really good!!! It wasn't like I didn't have any reasons before to love myself-because I did-I just couldn't see that it was okay for me....I thought in some way I was being selfish if I loved myself. I actually ended up neglecting many things about me and mistreated myself- It went under the rug as blame on others and in my own mind, I thought it was others who made me feel the way I did! I didn't take responsibility for not caring for MYSELF! I felt sorry for myself and I didn't realize it was ME who held the keys to my happiness! I had to take the reigns and steer myself in the direction I wanted to go! I didn't have to please anyone or change me-I just needed to realize that all I had to do was LOVE me! I accepted that I was loved by God-but I didn't accept love from myself!
It has been a huge blessing to realize that I can smile and be proud of who God has made me to be. NO GUILT or condemnation or expectations that are out of reach....I LOVE this feeling! It's new to me....It's a miracle that I am able to experience new life like I never knew before! Some people live and die and may never experience what I'm talking about! Its freedom-and it's something I gave myself and can keep giving every day-it doesn't have to change based on where I move or who I meet....It's from within!
You may think all of this sounds strange and you may have never dealt with issues that have to do with self esteem....BUT I find that many people "put on" and inside feel very differently than what they portray!
I ask you today to join me in getting in touch w/ your heart of hearts and promise yourself that you will NO longer hurt yourself-in any SENSE of the word....whether it be by overeating, not standing up for yourself or saying NO, living in the past, drugs/alcohol, pills, NOT facing the truth-believing lies, neglecting things that are important to you, ANY kind of vanity...
If I did not have Jesus Christ, I would be SO lost...Because people can never give you enough, and life can not give you enough good days, there's always a desire for more.....
Having peace and security which comes from the Giver of Life is the greatest TREASURE anyone could ask for!
I have been screwed by those closest to me & it couldn't get any worse-so for me to be where I'm at is a testimony of where my source of love comes from-if I wanted to, I could've ended my own life b/c I didn't care about myself-My attitude was "if other's didn't care about me, why should I?" BUT when lies are exposed-everything changes!
I am able to appreciate the beautiful family God has given me and enjoy the simple little things everyday that some people may take for granted! I realize that although I am not & will never be perfect-There is no one else like me in this whole world! And I deserve LOVE just like anybody else....No one has to do anything special to deserve love-