This morning I was thinking about what I would look like if my outward demeanor matched what I felt on the inside. I feel much joy and peace MOST of the time-simply knowing I'm a christian and that Jesus has died for me, taken away my sin, and given me life eternal. BUT I have to ask myself why so many times when I look in the mirror, I don't see that reflection!? I remember when I was younger-say high school age....I didn't want to show my true feelings or happiness for fear I would be made fun of...You know how teenagers are, the more you act "cool" or neutral-the more people will like you...The ones who were daring enough to be themselves, put themselves at more risk for being made fun of & that was NOT going to happen to me!!!
I wanted to be safe, because I had enough problems in my life, let alone feeling like an outcast at school. Those traits though somehow stick with us, don't they? We find ourselves still playing it "cool" through adulthood....Adults still trying to compete for the bigger audience or trying to find their self worth in other ways besides finding true freedom that only comes through JESUS CHRIST!
No one likes to admit that they feel like they don't measure up. Especially if you've been hurt. Theres a search that goes on in so many of us and we find ourselves keeping very busy. Honestly, very few seem to want to slow down and DEAL. Its a hard thing to come to terms with; the reality of our sin and the sin of others....but 1 day God asked me that very thing. He said, "Wendy, can you deal with it?" like even though your a christian and you know MY love and all the good that I have to offer, can you deal w/ the fact that NO ONE else in this world is going to be able to offer you that? Can you deal with that? It kind of took me by surprise and relieved me of the pressures I had to be perfect. And I've been able to let go of the expectations I had of others too.... How grateful I am today to have a Father and Best Friend who has forgiven me & loves me unconditionally!!!! No one else's love can ever come compare to that!!!
Can you believe the picture above is Fanny Crosby-the lady who wrote the song, "Redeemed, How I Love to Proclaim It" Redeemed -- How I love to proclaim it! Redeemed by the blood of the Lamb; Redeemed thro' His infinite mercy, His child, and forever, I am"
Ha,ha!!! I guess you can't always judge what you see on the outside..... & that's why I love Jesus even more!!!!